Birthdays - A Celebration!

Birthdays have long been one of my absolute favorite things. As a kid, I used to have my birthday parties planned almost as soon as that years' party was over! Today, I turn 25. And this year, just around the corner from my birthday, we'll be celebrating another very special birthday!

As I think about the past year of my sweet, darling Henry's life, the highest of the highs and the deepest, darkest lows, I am filled with a sense of extreme gratitude for it all. Not because I loved every second of it (let me tell you right now, there are more than a few seconds I could do without), but because I love every bit of Henry, and having him makes it all worth it.

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There's a verse that comforted me when Henry was around 6 months old. I talked about it more recently with some friends of mine and was reminded of it's sweetness.

 My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

    the days that were formed for me,

    when as yet there was none of them. -Psalm 139:15-16

I was at a women's conference when I heard these words for the first time after Henry was born. They were meant to remind the women there of their value to God. For those of you who know this particular chapter in the Bible, it's the same one that a few verses earlier says, "you knit me together in my mother's womb." What a sweet, reassuring verse to read as a new mother! To think of a baby being knit together by God inside of you! Wow. But more than that, look at vs. 16. "In your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Do you know that this means? This means that, before that 15th chromosome was broken, Henry's first birthday was written. While I was taking deep breaths of pure oxygen during labor in the hospital delivery room, the day Henry would be diagnosed with Prader-Willi Syndrome was written. Not only that, but the day we decided on "Fisher" for our unborn son's middle name, God saw Henry's life at 2 years old, and 16, to the very day he takes his last breath. What an intimate, comforting feeling, to understand that God knows.

The name "Fisher" came from our desire to see our son grow to follow Jesus and have an intimate relationship Him. Jesus Himself said, "Follow me and I will make you fishers of men." So, giving Henry this name would speak a blessing and promise into his life that, if he chooses to love and follow Jesus, he will be used for the kingdom of God. In my mind, that meant waving goodbye to our 18-year-old son as he boards a tiny plane that will take him to a small tribe in South America that hasn't heard the gospel yet. But God knows Henry's days. We face a reality that Henry could very possibly be dependant for the rest of His life. But that doesn't change what God can do through him. God has written Henry's days and He will be able to use his life in ways I could never have imagined.

I think as Mamas, it's easy for our kind to think so much of our children and what God's word means for their lives that we forget that it also applies to us. I've been reading those verses in Psalm 139 as "Henry's life verses" so long that I forgot to just read it for myself. And you know what I found? Yes, of course you do, but let me tell you anyway. It means the exact same thing for my life! Those words that cause me to feel the intimacy of our great and almighty God for Henry's sake are there to convey intimacy and love to me as well. Those scenarios I wrote about earlier? Celebrating my baby's first birthday, giving birth to a child with a deletion in his 15th chromosome, the day we picked a name, and the day I sat in that room listening to the doctor tell us about our son's condition; those were all written the day I was born. God saw all of those moments, the victories and pain, all the way back when my chromosomes were being matched together. He knew this road would be difficult for me, but He also that I could trust His faithfulness to carry and comfort me through each and every moment.

So, on this, our birthday week, I ask you to join us in our celebration! The God of the universe has written my 9,125 days and Henry's nearly 365. We rejoice in His knowing us intimately, and faithfully guiding us for this long, and trust Him for the rest of the days of our lives.